I'm exhausted.
In the past two days I shot a protest, was reprimanded by a cop, slept short hours, traversed the state, ate little to nothing (in my neurotic hypoglycemia world), worked alongside a photojournalist professional, shot high school football for the first time, shot with a long lens for the first time, shot with a D2H for the first time, sprinted to the scene of a midnight accident, was cussed out and threatened for photographing, connected with talented and dedicated news visionaries (yeah, visionaries, real live everyday brilliant existing people without whom I would not feel the way I do right now), crashed a hasty four hours, trucked it back to Mt. P., immediately re-focused on home paper assignments for the new day...
...and came home with not a single photo I really like. Visually, I tanked. At this point I'm not enthused about the images I made; I also might disgust the realists with the small corner of things that I experienced and the big way that I feel from it, but I went and I saw and heard and I sweat and I learned and I am doing it.
This is what I want - and I know right now what I sometimes forget - that I will, I will get better - I will make the kind of images I've always drooled over in National Geographic and TIME and LIFE and The New York Times - there are so many days when I feel that I can't and I never will but regardless of where I do, I can.
I will make pictures that matter.
You are doing it and you already are better. You already make pictures that matter. Those photos you took of those dear downs syndrome children certainly matter to a great many people. Keep going, keep shooting!
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